It’s Friday \\ Here Are Some Things 

the campus center, lunchtime friday

It’s Friday, peeps! We made it! Thank God and hallelujah and all those sorts of things. Little happy dances etc. This week was super busy right from the beginning so I packed a whole bunch of studying and writing and thinking (and ok, yes, some stressing too) into all of 4 days and then breathed a sigh of relief. My class load on Thursday and Friday is light so I’m usually just on a slow coast to the weekend (which, let me tell you, feels so good). It generally involves some deep breathing and chocolate croissant eating and lots of long distance phone talking. It makes me so grateful for the college schedule, having such flexible hours and the ability to spend free time how I choose and focus on things I love. I’d call myself an exceptionally lucky human being.

here is an unrelated picture of a bangin’ gyro from sunday night

We’ve got one more day in February and I’m going to to ahead and call this month the month of listening.

I’ve been listening to music-so much music. There was a while there when the only thing I listened to was Bon Iver, who is great and maybe my spirit animal but it’s also so fun to be discovering new and really wonderful songs and artists. I feel like I’m getting back into this finding new music thing after a hiatus, a while of the tried and the true and stumbling upon things that I liked but didn’t really love. More on this soon.

I’ve been listening to podcasts. Boy, have I been listening to podcasts. It started at the gym-I’d go and listen to NPR and run. And it was a great diversion from the treadmill! Because I do love running but I do not love treadmills and I really need something to focus on other than the fact that I’m moving in place and can see exactly how many minutes I have left to go every single second. So! When I as home a few weekends ago I had this magical discovery that podcasts are just all the awesome programs that they play on WUNC on the weekends and I downloaded This American Life and Snap Judgement and Invisibilia and Radiolab and etcetera and so forth. It’s been seriously the best thing, except for how much they drag me in and then I don’t want to do anything else but sit and eat some cheesy toast and listen. Sigh. That’s the life, I gotta say.

#observemywallet. check it out on instagram, yo.

So this weekend I’m going to eat a lot of good food and hopefully do a lot of work and fingers crossed develop more blog ideas. Looking forward to manicures with Claire tonight (which should be such a treat!). The next few weeks are going to be full of visitors and travelling and, oh yeah, also doing that thing called college. I’d like to spend the upcoming days collecting my wits and planning and bringing out my productive side.

Three cheers to that, my friends.

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THE WINDOW SEAT

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The thing about flying is that it’s really, really crazy when you stop to think about it. When you pause for a second in the midst of your day and your book and the uncomfortable pressure in your left ear and contemplate the fact that you’re higher than the clouds and the trees and the birds. It’s fascinating, when you’re landing, to watch the highways; to see the cars merge in and weave out, to observe the surprising clarity of the lines marking the lanes and the way that those tiny individuals will turn. I think it’s one of the most immediate and physical of shifts perspective we can experience-to be here in the sky and there, an hour later, in a car that merges and weaves. I think it’s really incredible.

Some things from this week:

My thoughts have been with the victims of the Chapel Hill shooting and the members of that community. I have very few words, but this article does a beautiful job.

For some reason I’d never discovered First Kit’s cover of America, but it’s done been discovered now and I am absolutely in love. Claire and I have been absolutely obsessed and singing it to each other every day- “Kathy, I’m lost”, I said, though I know she was sleeping. “I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why.”

Today I underestimated the time it would take to get to the airport and the T was having delays and I was that crazy person sprinting catch the plane as the last boarding call sounded. But it was all good in the end and during the flight I read and afterward my Nana picked me up and we went to the Olive Garden which was just perfect.

Speaking of the Olive Garden, they make a surprisingly mean cappuccino. Though I have to admit, when our kind and extremely cheery waiter Mike asked me if I’d like whipped cream on top of my cappuccino I let out a small, involuntary chuckle. The experience was so fun but it reminded me of how grateful I am to have so many trendy joints nearby/v many hip places to explore.

MORE OFTEN THAN NOT

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Today marks the fourth snow day of the semester.

It’s been cold here, recently, as winters often are; but this winter, unlike the last, has brought us snowflake upon snowflake. Flying ever so radically through the air, falling ever softly to the ground, they cease only with the promise of a quiet return. This white stuff has swallowed the earth underneath it and continued on, collecting in piles and heaps and mountains over the tired soil. We hear machines working into the night, clearing the paths we’ll later walk; they are aware, surely, of the impermanence of their relief. We are tired too, we dream not only of summer but of a world in which the grass is discernible, the skies blue. It exists, a few states, a few hours away, but we stay as we are; moving in circles abreast the ice, sketching trails onto the floors of rooms sheltered from the elements. We wait. We count our breaths, suspended in this clumsy replica of a bear’s hibernation.

And I, I have been taking this time to rest. Don’t we all need a little more respite in the winter? I’ve been listening to Bon Iver and reading articles on the internet, studying long texts in Spanish and making use of my French Press. I’ve been watering my air plants and wearing cardigans. I’ve been spending more time under the covers than not. I’ve been doing my best to appreciate this season, these bitter, unforgiving, dazzling, awakening months; I’ve been treasuring the warmth and trying to treasure the cold just as much.

Here’s to the quiet of this chill. May we take it for what it is, and let it remind us, always, of who we are.

Feb. 1 : Feb. 7

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Sunday Feb. 1 : Laundry in the nighttime. And fresh sheets! Sleeping on fresh sheets is just the best thing, let me tell you.

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Monday Feb. 2 : Snow day pt. 3. Cuddles and the best cheesy English muffins.

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Tuesday Feb. 3 : First day in the darkroom! It was super cool to go through the process of physically making a picture, and made me so excited to make many more.

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Wednesday Feb. 4 : The line for Mail Services. Some nice repetition, amirite? A study of the things people do when they wait in lines–People in lines 2k15. Out on the shelves any day now.

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Thursday Feb. 5 : It’s a print, it’s a print! Of Sahar being beautiful, as always. Seriously, guys, making these things is so cool. Eeek!

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Friday Feb. 6 : We had the sweetest dinner at the sweetest restaurant in Beacon Hill. I’m such a fan of that area and it’s always lovely to discover new treasures. The food was delicious and it was quiet and cozy and absolutely perfect for a freezing February night.

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Saturday Feb. 7 : Brunch for Eve’s birthday at Gaslight, which I highly, highly recommend. The waiter was super nice and the food was incredible. The coffee was bottomless. We managed to spill something again! Claire had Chamomile tea at 11 in the morning (?)! Everyone was a little fuzzy but it was good eats with good people and that’s something I’m always grateful for.

I SAY GIVE LOVE

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It’s a week to Valentine’s Day and lately I’ve been thinking about love. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s easy to fall in love-with a friend, a lover, a tree in the springtime. It’s easy to appreciate beautiful and simple things; it’s effortless to admire without seeing something in it’s entirety.

It takes more work to stay in love.

It takes work to stay in love with yourself. To keep your identity true to the things down inside you and to embrace the dark parts and to know that each facet is working to make a complete, magnificent soul.

It takes work to stay in love with your school or your job. It takes a concerted effort to cherish your classes and your readings and the hours in the office.

It takes work to stay in love with your home. To change your perspective, to focus on the things you might notice when you halt the complaints in your head. It requires effort to admire the way the snow moves in the wind and the way that this season fits in a puzzle with all the others.

It takes work to stay in love with people. Relationships are complicated things. It’s hard to learn all of the parts of a person; it’s hard sometimes to love their dark areas, in the same way it’s hard to love your own. It’s difficult, at times, to communicate; to say I hurt here, to say please help me, to say, I think you are lost. It’s hard to share yourself with a person. It’s hard to have them share themselves back.

But I’ve been thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion. Isn’t that where the true beauty lies? Doesn’t it rest underneath the ubiquity of a veneered smile or tired faces on the T ride home, inside the bad days and disappointments and petty fights? I think that what makes us most beautiful is to look at ourselves throughout it all and to share the quiet, vulnerable, dazzling pieces; to have the courage to give love and take it. To declare, proudly, I am messy. This is me. I am here and alive and ready to grow. And I have been hurt and I have been scared and I have been buoyant and I have had happiness. Here it is. Here is me and here is you and here is us, together, trying to figure it out along the way.

I’ve been thinking, and I say give love. I say give love and take love, the both, and be gentle and be kind and be unafraid.

And to you, love, I say look into my heart. Because I have given you my soul, taken a cup and scooped it up and I have fed it to you, yes, because everyone gets sick sometimes and that’s no weakness but it’s a certainty, and my soul is mine but I share it with you any day, and you helped make it so it’s yours too, you know.

Jan. 25 : Jan. 31

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Sunday Jan. 25 : A double chocolate muffin to share and in extra huge cappuccino because it was free! But I swear there were like 5 shots in that thing. Eeeeeeeeeeee!

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Monday Jan. 26 : This morning was really nice. My desk was really messy. That tea was really delicious.

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Tuesday Jan. 27 : AHH AHH AHH IT’S A BLIZZARD // on the way to the layout for the Observer.

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Wednesday Jan. 28 : The aftermath. We didn’t have school (although we probably could have) and so Claire Sahar Eve and I went to DPH. I had cake for breakfast. I mean, it was basically a holiday right? Yeah. I thought so.

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Thursday Jan. 29 : Walking to Diesel for coffee and croissants- the best Thursday morning activity with the very best Thursday morning breakfast partner.

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Friday Jan. 30. : Late night Easy A watching (aka I love Claire’s bed and her love for cheesy rom-coms).

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Saturday Jan. 31 : Back bay. Not pictured: Dr. Dog concert with Sahar that night. So many good feels. Saturday takes the cake. Mmm. Heh.